By.Amarie

You ever just felt mentally drained? Well that’s exactly how I was feeling! I was definitely feeling hopeless because in reality there was nothing I could do to fix my situation. By the end of the week I received a call by the secretary from the doctors office stating she was sending a prescription for “Crinone”. Now I had no idea what she was talking about and why she was sending this prescription to the pharmacy. Before I could ask any questions she told me that only one specific pharmacy carries this medication and that the doctor would call me by the end of the day. So here I go again back on google (Rolling eyes) trying to figure out what medication she prescribed. I finally received the call from the doctor, “she wants to see me within a week.” The results she saw from the sonogram that was done in the other office shows a “yolk sac,” but no heartbeat. So she wants to make sure that we have a developing embryo and not just a sac. The doctor then explained what the crinone was for and how the steroid could help maintain my pregnancy. Which at that point I was willing to try just about anything.

Now of course you know nothing in life ever comes easy! Here I am headed over to this pharmacy located in the city to pick up the the medication. I arrive to find out that my insurance doesn’t cover the medication (go figure right). Now the pharmacy tech is telling me this medication is over $500 which I was definitely not expecting to spend at that moment (ugh). I was in utter shock because I have pretty good medical insurance and they usually cover a lot. But since the medication is considered a fertility drug the insurance won’t provide it and at that moment it was something I was going to need. All I remember was rushing home to start this medication as soon as possible. So I opened the box to these applicators that I had to insert twice a day for the next couple of weeks. The first time inserting this applicator wasn’t bad at all pretty easy process because everything is setup for you. But the most uncomfortable feeling is afterwards, when you have to walk around with this glob of white gel (not ideal lol). Let’s not forget that after using it a couple of times the gel starts to kind of clump up to the point that you have to go up and clean it out of there (if you know what I mean). “I know TMI” but I want to keep it as real as possible and for some of the men reading this you ain’t hear/seen anything yet lol (just wait).

Today’s the big day I’ve been waiting for. It’s January 16, 2018 and it’s my first prenatal appointment! As I’m sitting here patiently waiting, I have this overwhelming fear of excitement. Not sure if that even makes sense LOL, but I’m sure you’ve had those weird jitters. As I here my name get called I get even more anxious and I have about a million questions I want to ask. Technically now I’d be an estimated 8 weeks due to my last calculated cycle. The Doctor begins the ultrasound and so far everything is looking normal. “She starts by saying the placement of the baby is where it should be, my only concern is we have no heartbeat.” At this point I don’t recall hearing anything else and everything she said after that pretty much sounded like an echo. I just happened to look over at my boyfriend which he already noticed my entire vibe had changed. Trying not to panic I remained calm until they finished the sonogram and all the bloodwork.

Hey guys!

I’ve been so eager to start this blog for months now, but I never found the time for it. I decided to start this blog because I had so many ideas going through my head that I wanted to share. Now that I’ve got a solid routine, I am now ready to catch up. For those of you who don’t know me, I have an 11 month old daughter by the name of Leah Brooke Diaz. Leah was born September 20th 2018, weighing 8lbs 11oz 20 inches long at exactly 6:15 a.m.

Let’s Catch-up…