You ever just felt mentally drained? Well that’s exactly how I was feeling! I was definitely feeling hopeless because in reality there was nothing I could do to fix my situation. By the end of the week I received a call by the secretary from the doctors office stating she was sending a prescription for “Crinone”. Now I had no idea what she was talking about and why she was sending this prescription to the pharmacy. Before I could ask any questions she told me that only one specific pharmacy carries this medication and that the doctor would call me by the end of the day. So here I go again back on google (Rolling eyes) trying to figure out what medication she prescribed. I finally received the call from the doctor, “she wants to see me within a week.” The results she saw from the sonogram that was done in the other office shows a “yolk sac,” but no heartbeat. So she wants to make sure that we have a developing embryo and not just a sac. The doctor then explained what the crinone was for and how the steroid could help maintain my pregnancy. Which at that point I was willing to try just about anything.
Now of course you know nothing in life ever comes easy! Here I am headed over to this pharmacy located in the city to pick up the the medication. I arrive to find out that my insurance doesn’t cover the medication (go figure right). Now the pharmacy tech is telling me this medication is over $500 which I was definitely not expecting to spend at that moment (ugh). I was in utter shock because I have pretty good medical insurance and they usually cover a lot. But since the medication is considered a fertility drug the insurance won’t provide it and at that moment it was something I was going to need. All I remember was rushing home to start this medication as soon as possible. So I opened the box to these applicators that I had to insert twice a day for the next couple of weeks. The first time inserting this applicator wasn’t bad at all pretty easy process because everything is setup for you. But the most uncomfortable feeling is afterwards, when you have to walk around with this glob of white gel (not ideal lol). Let’s not forget that after using it a couple of times the gel starts to kind of clump up to the point that you have to go up and clean it out of there (if you know what I mean). “I know TMI” but I want to keep it as real as possible and for some of the men reading this you ain’t hear/seen anything yet lol (just wait).
I noticed I was still spotting while taking the medication which had me worried. I knew I was gonna see the doctor within the week again considering we didn’t have a heartbeat. So you know my paranoia was on another level and it was so hard to maintain a positive mindset. Just the thoughts of me taking this progesterone to help maintain a baby that I didn’t even know if it was for sure developing was draining. I called the doctors office to schedule an appointment and as well to let the secretary know what they had prescribed me wasn’t covered by the insurance. So with spending hours on the phone and with the help the secretary we were able to prove that this wasn’t for fertility use. So l was grateful enough to be reimbursed and it was a bit of a relief in that aspect.
Still hiding this from almost all of my friends and family was very hard. Half the time I wanted to break down crying because this was supposed to be an exciting moment that for sure was still unknown. Fast forward into the week, it is now January 25th 2018 and today is the day we find out whether we have a developing baby. At this point I’m a nervous wreck wondering what I’m about to endure. Patiently waiting inside the room as the doctor walks in and begins the sonogram (literally shaking). A picture appears on the screen and by now I think I know what I should be looking at. The doctor turns to me and says can you see?!? She then turns up the volume and with a big sigh of relief, I hear that beautiful heartbeat. All the tears and worries I endured was all worth that sound. Even tho I still felt a bit worried, it was more because I knew during pregnancy you’re never really “out of woods” just yet. But that was good enough to keep me at ease!
Muahz~ Oohbabybyamarie